Whoa.

I know I ought to expect class to get harder, to experience more stress...but...whoa. Today began our chocolate showpiece construction. I had come up with a design that I was happy with, and felt manageable. I was very, very wrong. Today was by far, the hardest day yet. I have a new respect for chocolate work, it is very difficult. Or rather, the learning curve is absurd, and we're smack in the middle of it. I managed to get most of my pieces done and will have no problem finishing, though admittedly, it won't look as good as I had envisioned. Most people in the class agree; they all hate chocolate. I don't. I still love it actually. I may have been exceptionally stressed, but at the end of the day I was alright, and I love learning something so challenging. I ended up with a strange sense of accomplishment, despite my disappointing day. Thank goodness Chef Chris is back. He has a calming effect I certainly appreciate, and instead of yelling, he is reassuring. At the end of the day as we all slowly packed up, exhausted he turned on music. It was a simple thing, but livened the class, and most of us went home feeling significantly better. I certainly did! Though not true for everyone. I don't know if it's the rainy weather, or that we're just over half way done but something else was happening in the kitchen today. People were picking fights with one another-resulting in yelling matches and many tears. And it's not just our class, the level above us had some serious drama as well. The tension in that kitchen was so thick, I had to step outside a few times just to catch a breath. Luckily, the cool weather and slight drizzle was exactly what I needed to revive myself. As opposed to the usual 95 and deathly humid nature of August in New York City.
One of my friends mentioned on the walk to the subway after class that she felt like her heart wasn't in it anymore. She didn't care, and was actually considering dropping out (she isn't the only one either). And I realized how lucky I am that I'm so personally invested in this program, and absolutely love baking. This simple fact is what gets me through these occasional exhausting days. Though, having gone through one of the toughest biology programs in the US doesn't hurt either. Chocolate tempering has nothing on Organic Chemistry! I know, it's not the same thing. But all I have to do is think back to that year when I literally dedicated my life to that class, and I feel like I can take anything they throw at me. And I can. I know that with each of these new challenges I'll only become better, and in the end, I know I will have gotten all I can out of this program.
So now, with the afternoon off (no homework!) I'll do absolutely anything, not involving chocolate.